Top Tips for crappy copy

digital marketingThis week, I’m going to explore the production of inimitable train crashes of copy. Follow these tips and you’ll find yourself producing a series of truly unreadable, vomit-inducing pieces of tripe!

1) Be sure you know nothing about the subject.

With copywriting, an important element is knowledge: if you read around the subject you will write with confidence and put personal insights into your material, allowing your reader to truly appreciate the content, maybe even share it.

Avoid this at all cost; a copywriter who sounds like they know what they’re doing will inevitably succeed in creating  ‘hits’. As I learned from a childhood exposed to Abba: Gold and Girls Night Out, ‘hits’ are evil things, bad for the soul and the mind.

2) Disregard structure.

To disorient and confuse the reader is one of the main aims of a bad copywriter. Be sure your sentences meander absurdly, that sections are mislabelled and avoid bullet points, and other easy-to-understand markers. They are the sign of a copywriter with a desire to spread their message with clarity. And remember: clarity = disparity.

On reflection, I have to admit to flaunting this rule. Well, do as I say, not as I do.

3) Fear communication.

Remember this: nobody can help you create your piece. If you are struggling for inspiration, make sure you don’t discuss the content with those around you, they will only ever fill your mind with ‘useable’ and ‘interesting’ points.

4) Submit it whilst incomplete.

When you’re writing copy, write something rushed in five minutes and make sure to just…

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